I have been going on and off anxiety medication since my early twenties with no apparent results. The feelings of anxiety and angst continue and i continually fight to contain my desire to sleep the day away. This is hard enough without the responsibility of a child, with a child depression takes on another dimension with the guilt that you are not spending enough time with your child, that you are an inadequate parent, wife and daughter, knowing well that those around you are attributing your malaise to lack of motivation and laziness.
If i put myself in their shoes, i cannot blame them at all, i would feel the same, especially when i look at my peers and what they have accomplished so far, i am inadequate in many ways.
The struggle to gain approval and the quickness with which you cut away relationships when you face rejection , however minor and insignificant, the vicious cycle of self doubt and giving up too soon all of these are experiences which negatively impact ones future successes..
Recently though i have been trying other means of combating depression, namely exercise and it really works! I find that if i don\t exercise i lose a day to sleep and aimlessness. Another means that i have recently undertaken is blogging, i have always wanted to blog but have always failed to maintain a blog, however these days i enjoy the act of blogging in the evening as a way to express myself , to release feelings that i have not been able to express without the stress of performance.
I hope i can continue to maintain this. Natural endorphin are so much better than the medicinal kind.
If i put myself in their shoes, i cannot blame them at all, i would feel the same, especially when i look at my peers and what they have accomplished so far, i am inadequate in many ways.
The struggle to gain approval and the quickness with which you cut away relationships when you face rejection , however minor and insignificant, the vicious cycle of self doubt and giving up too soon all of these are experiences which negatively impact ones future successes..
Recently though i have been trying other means of combating depression, namely exercise and it really works! I find that if i don\t exercise i lose a day to sleep and aimlessness. Another means that i have recently undertaken is blogging, i have always wanted to blog but have always failed to maintain a blog, however these days i enjoy the act of blogging in the evening as a way to express myself , to release feelings that i have not been able to express without the stress of performance.
I hope i can continue to maintain this. Natural endorphin are so much better than the medicinal kind.
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