identity crisis

I grew up in Karachi, Pakistan a diverse , vibrant city with a charm all its own. Growing up in a country that had once been colonized by the British and with more than a touch of the colonial influence remaining was a unique experience. Studying in a school that had been a school for British colonial settlers back in colonial times, following a British educational system and learning English as a first language, I grew up with a somewhat confused identity.

However this only became clear to me when I left the country to pursue my studies in Canada when i had to re-evaluate who I was in light of the different cultural influences that I came in contact with. It is said that identity is strengthened by who you are not rather than by who you are. Meeting others who are different from you makes you think about who you are in relation to them. During this process i learned much about my own identity confusion. When I identified myself as a Pakistani i had to take into consideration that I did not fit in many ways into the typical mould of what a Pakistani was expected to be due to the cultural influence of the colonizers. Having a British grandmother who had lived with us for most of my life and had been a huge influence on me during my formative and adult years also contributed to my feeling somewhat 'different' in the society I lived in.

Returning back to Pakistan after my studies made me feel somewhat 'normal' again and after a struggle to assimilate into the country of my birth, i started to feel that my identity crisis was resolved. Yet after marriage and a baby i travelled again to Sweden for further studies where my identity again was called into question as i struggled to fit into this new completely different society with its own unique cultural traditions, language and national identity.

I am only just formulating a global identity for myself based on whoI am as a unique individual . So far it has been an interesting ride and i have learned a lot about myself in the process.